SMALL POTATOES

      No, no, I didn't say he was an alien. I said he's from another planet. His name is Luke Skywalker.

                    He's what is known as a Jedi knight.

Agents Mulder and Scully investigate the birth of five babies in the town of Martinsburg, West Virginia who were born with tails. The mother of the most recent baby, Amanda Nelligan, tells the agents that the father of her baby is Luke Skywalker. By researching the baby's chromosomes it is discovered that all five share the same father. The parents of the children blame the local fertility doctor, who had used insemination to impregnate all of the mothers but Nelligan. Mulder spots a janitor nearby with signs that he formerly had a tail. When he runs Mulder chases him and catches him. The janitor, Eddie Van Blundht is discovered to be the father of all of the children. Scully believes Eddie used a date rape drug although Mulder questions how he could be in the position to give it to the women.

Eddie escapes by transforming his face into that of the booking cop. Mulder and Scully visit his father, who still has his tail and was a former circus performer. Mulder and Scully soon realize that he's Eddie however, and he escapes. Eddie transforms into one of the husbands of the women he slept with. When the real husband comes home, he transforms into Mulder and leaves. Mulder and Scully meanwhile discover the dried up body of Eddie's father in the attic. Performing an autopsy on the body, Scully finds that he has an extra sheet of muscle under his skin, which Mulder believes Eddie also has and can use to change his appearance.

Eddie takes on the appearance of Mulder and visits Nelligan, showing him a photo of Eddie. Nelligan tells him that she went out with him in high school, but views him as a loser. The disappointed Eddie leaves, while the real Mulder shows up soon afterwards. Realizing that Eddie just visited Nelligan, Mulder searches for him. He finds the fertility doctor and a security guard nearby and handcuffs them, believing one of them to be Eddie. The real Eddie, hiding in a vent above, gets the jump on Mulder and locks him up. Eddie takes Mulder's form and tells Scully that he feels the case is a waste of time and they should return to Washington.

Eddie returns to Washington as Mulder and along with Scully reports to Skinner on the case with a poorly written report. Eddie visits Mulder's office, then his apartment, being surprised at what a loser Mulder appears to be. Eddie visits Scully with a bottle of wine and tries to get her drunk. As they are about to kiss, the real Mulder breaks in and stops them. Revealed, Eddie reverts back to his actual form. A month later Mulder visits Eddie in a reformatory visitation room. Eddie has been given muscle relaxants to prevent him from turning into someone else. Eddie tells Mulder that he was born a loser, but Mulder is one by choice.

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