The below provides some brief thoughts, reflections and memories taken from my time within state care, living within children's homes and a number of foster homes throughout my childhood. Having been resident within state care alongside intermittent periods with my biological mother there was certainly plenty of upheavel and trauma, coupled with some better times along the way. Within these pages I detail the early days within the care system, recollecting some of the staff that worked within the children's home, the move from this environment and into foster care, and the breakdown of that placement that led to sibling separation and further foster placements.

man in black long sleeve shirt and pants standing on concrete wall
man in black long sleeve shirt and pants standing on concrete wall
The early days

My earliest memories of childhood included me and my sister going on 'holidays' to complete strangers...It didn't seem strange at the time, yet as I grew up I began to wonder what was going on.....

a person wearing a black shirt that says staff
a person wearing a black shirt that says staff
Children's home staff profile

Usually there would be two members of staff at any one time, and it did not take me or my sister long to work out the positive and negative aspects of each member of staff......

selective focus photography of woman holding fallen leaves
selective focus photography of woman holding fallen leaves

On this first particular Christmas I remember getting to sleep late and being woken up early....we all ran downstairs and were greeted by numerous bin liners stuffed with presents...

The months became years
Person carrying large bags down a cobblestone street.
Person carrying large bags down a cobblestone street.

My sister seemed to be very excited about the prospect of moving in with our new foster parents......Brian and Ellen were a middle aged couple perhaps late 40/early 50s who lived in the nearby city.....

a person standing in the middle of a cracked road
a person standing in the middle of a cracked road
Sibling split and another foster home

Of course my immediate reaction was that I would be returned to the home, that I would lose my friends and that my whole life was over. Within an hour of the social services turning up I was packed and gone

Stone stairs lead toward a bright opening.
Stone stairs lead toward a bright opening.

Now for someone to have just turned seventeen the prospect of living on ones own would initially appear to be a dream.......

The end of foster care
Moving into foster care